How and Why: The Founder’s Story

The day I got the dreaded news was the day that this product was born. Like many, I had an elderly parent, who lived far away in a nursing home. It was difficult to communicate on the phone because my father could not hear well. He was also blind. I felt guilty for not being there. With young children at home and a full-time job, however, it was not possible for me to be with him in the way I felt a daughter should.

When I called to check on him that day, a nurse told me that my father had stopped eating, a sure sign that he was not long for this world. In my distress I knew that I would be unable to get there in time to say goodbye. It’s true that necessity is the mother of invention. I cut out the shape of my hand in soft fabric and sewed it onto a pillowcase. That way, my father’s hand would rest on mine when his head was on his pillow. I wrote my name; “daughter”; and my phone number on the pillowcase and sent it to him in overnight mail. I called the following morning and asked a nurse to put this pillowcase on my father’s pillow and to explain to him that it was from me. He died peacefully that night in his sleep…

A few days later, the hospice nurse who was with my father on his last day called me. She was excited to tell me about how the pillowcase had helped with what turned out to be my father’s last day on earth. She told me that upon touching the hand, he perked up and asked for something to eat. He ate a morsel, not enough to sustain him long, though that suggested he was reaching for life, not resigning to death. Furthermore, my father could be a handful when he had anxiety attacks at sundown, which is something that happens to many people with dementia and other serious illnesses. (This is referred to by the medical community as “Sundowning.”) With his hand on my cloth hand, however, he was calmed. He was quieted and less anxious when he was touching his hand to my pillowcase hand. He was less demanding of the nursing home staff. I realized that I had given my father a peaceful last day, which in turn gave me much peace and closure, even though I was not able to be with him.

You know that feeling when everything just comes together? When I realized that this pillowcase brought relief and comfort to my father, as well as to me and the nursing home staff, without unwanted side effects, it was right then that I decided that this needed to be brought into the world to help others to feel present when they can’t be. There is nothing comparable, so the US Patent granted me a patent: Like flowers, that engage the sense of smell enhancing get-well messages, the tactile hand engages the sense of touch. These pillowcases endure being laundered, while flowers and get-well cards quickly fade. Now when my friends ask why after two successful careers (as a lawyer and as a university professor of public health) I am starting another endeavor when many of my peers are retiring, I think, bless them and say: “I cannot, not do this!”

I hope that if you decide to purchase these pillowcases, modeled after the one I made for my father, that you and your absent loved-one will feel the deep satisfaction and connection that we did. I would like to hear your story sharing this pillowcase with your loved ones. Please write to me about your experiences at: [email protected].